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Changing Friends

“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

I saw this on a friend’s status update on Facebook. She heard this message when she called someone she knew (or used to know).  I wondered whether my friend would get a call back.

Many of us have made changes to our relationships, although we may not be quite as open about it as my friend’s friend was. I’ll admit I re-evaluate my relationships from time to time and I do some restructuring. There are many reasons for this.

For example, I may decide to reduce the time and effort invested in a particular relationship with a friend who has become elusive and difficult to reach (say, they’ve stopped returning my calls or replying to my emails). Doing this means that I am able to spend more time cultivating other, more rewarding relationships with friends who are more responsive.

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed by the many roles I am juggling, some of my friends may not hear from me for a while. Eventually, however, I will get back in touch, perhaps on the said friend’s birthday when I’ll send a card or give them a call.

Rarely will I cut someone out of my life entirely, unless they’ve asked me to do so. This has happened a couple of times.

I’d like to hear what you think about making changes to one’s relationships. Have you ever restructured your friendships and if so, how?

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